Loss of a spouse…GOD IS FAITHFUL!

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

Written by: Mary Alice Medley

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Daryl & Mary Alice Medley 50th Wedding Anniversary

On September 17, 2014, we went to Daryl’s doctor’s appointment. While we were there he became very ill so I took him to the emergency room. This was the beginning of our journey together until February 27, 2015 when Daryl went home to his eternal reward.

During those long days, weeks, and months, I remained by Daryl’s side. Driving daily to and from the hospital or the nursing home, some of the trips were in torrential rain and the dark of night. Daryl, knowing I’m not a good driver and have no sense of direction, worried about me and always said, “be careful” or “is the car running okay?” I didn’t have a single accident or any car trouble during this time. I had wonderful friends who offered to drive me on days when I couldn’t. GOD IS FAITHFUL!

There were many trips to the emergency room and the hospital–eight trips to the ER and admitted to the hospital six times. When Daryl wasn’t in the hospital he was in the nursing home. Healthcare facilities are not cheap! When I saw the final cost (nearly $600.000), it was breathtaking. Yes, we had insurance and it paid a large portion of the expenses, but I was responsible for several thousand dollars on the hospital and doctor bills, plus nursing home and dialysis center expenses. Every time I received a bill from the hospital I called to make arrangements for monthly payments and most of the time they were very cooperative. In fact, while paying on four different hospital bills, I received another one. So, once again, I called to arrange payments. But after checking on the information, the clerk returned to the phone and said, “The bill is paid in full!” GOD IS FAITHFUL!

I accepted the fact that I would be making monthly payments for a long time. However, God had another plan. Daryl and his siblings inherited a farm several years ago. The farm had been on the market but hadn’t sold and we all wondered why and when someone would buy it. About a month after Daryl was hospitalized, I received a call from his sister. She said, “We sold the farm.” I told her that was an answer to prayer and I would use the money to take care of Daryl. We did not receive a huge sum because the proceeds were divided among five siblings, but I have NO medical bills! God’s timing is perfect. GOD IS FAITHFUL!

While Daryl was ill, I had some issues at home. The refrigerator quit. I didn’t want to take the time to go shopping, so I ordered a new refrigerator online. It was delivered and the old one removed. The delivery man said he needed to turn off the water for the ice maker on the old fridge, so he went downstairs and turned it off, supposedly. After several days, I noticed water on the laundry room floor and could see where a pipe was leaking. I called a plumber we had used previously. The plumber came and discovered all the wood flooring under the kitchen was water-soaked and the kitchen floor needed to be pulled up and the wood dried out. I was unable to get someone to come out immediately to dry everything out, and they would not install a new floor until they were sure my insurance was going to pay. I made many phone calls over the next several weeks, trying to assure that the damage would be paid for. Eventually, I received a check for the entire cost and got a nice new kitchen floor. GOD IS FAITHFUL!

God continues to show His faithfulness to me in so many ways.

One day I had a flat tire. I had never aired up a tire, so God provided a kind gentleman who offered to help me. The next day some kind friends followed me to Tires Plus so I could get it fixed. GOD IS FAITHFUL!

My garage door failed to stay down. so I prayed and said, “Lord you know I won’t sleep tonight if this garage door is up.” I tried one more time and it went down. I called a repairman who came out quickly and fixed it. The cost was minimal because I had purchased a maintenance agreement with the company.  GOD IS FAITHFUL!

One day I was getting ready to run some errands, and when I turned the key in the car ignition, it wouldn’t start. I needed a new battery. I walked across the street and asked my neighbor if he could help. He came, put the battery charger on and instructed me to a place where I could buy a new battery and have it installed. I was up and running within an hour. GOD IS FAITHFUL!

Just recently, I was driving down what is typically a very busy street. Suddenly a large dog jumped out in front of me. I stopped immediately, but I hit the dog. He rolled over several times right down the middle of the street. Thankfully, there were no cars coming! The dog jumped up on all fours and ran away. I am so thankful I didn’t run him over because he would have been hurt badly and I would have damaged my car considerably. Also, if there would have been anyone coming behind me, they could not have avoided hitting my car, which would have caused considerable damage. GOD IS FAITHFUL!

When we started this journey in September of 2014, the Lord gave me a verse from Isaiah 41:10: “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God’s promises are sure and HE IS FAITHFUL!

About Mary Alice: I first met Mary Alice when my husband was interviewing for the lead pastor position at St. Paul’s Church of the Nazarene, KC., MO. Since then, I ‘ve had the wonderful opportunity getting to know Mary Alice as a friend and sister in Christ. She demonstrates a strong and dedicated faith in God. Mary Alice is the prayer coordinator for our church and is always reaching out to those who need encouragement, including me. It was a true blessing to meet some of her family during our National Grandparents Day of Prayer. Mary Alice and Daryl have raised a family who loves Jesus.

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Mary Alice with her family

I hope that you will take the time to read more about Mary Alice through her personal testimony.

MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY

By Mary Alice Medley

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Mary Alice

I was very fortunate to have Christian parents who always guided me in the things of the Lord. My father was a minister. He lost his health at a very young age, before I was born.  When I was just a few months old, I became very ill. My parents were living in a very remote area, so they could not get me to a doctor. My father anointed me, and I was healed. God had a reason for sparing my life.

When I was six months old, my parents moved back to civilization and settled in Indiana. I grew up in a small town, small school, and small church. When I was five, I accepted Christ as my Savior at my mother’s knee. The church I grew up in was quite legalistic and I found myself at the altar many times. My heart’s desire was to serve the Lord, but I had a lot of spiritual growing to do.

After high school, I attended Olivet Nazarene College (now University) for two years. Those were eye-opening days for me and experiences that enriched my life. My parents were unable to help me financially, so it was a struggle, but again, God was faithful and I am so thankful for the opportunity and the friends I made during those years.

God kept His hand on me and in 1959 I felt led to move to Kansas City to work at the Nazarene Publishing House. I started attending St. Paul’s Church of the Nazarene and am still attending the same church today. I met my husband at the church and we were married in 1963. We were blessed with two children in the next two years. Those were difficult times financially and physically, but God was faithful and provided our needs.

On Christmas Eve, 1971, I gave birth to a stillborn child that I had carried for nine months. The days and weeks following that loss were very difficult for me. I felt like no one understood, but again, God was so faithful and provided strength and guidance.

In the fall of 1972, I began working at Nazarene Headquarters (now Global Ministry Center). I worked in various areas for the Church of the Nazarene until December 2008, when Daryl fell on the ice and became disabled. I needed to stay home and care for him, and again, God was faithful to give us strength and supply our needs.

As I look back, I see the hand of God as He led me each step of the way. Today, as I face life as a widow, I sense God’s presence in my life each day. He is my shelter, my rock, my helper, my healer, my provider. He is faithful and I will serve Him as long as he gives me breath.

Holding His Hand

Illness and death are sadly a part of this world. The reason? Sin entered the world through one man, Adam, and we now live in a world filled with the effects of sinful man.

12 Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned—(Romans 12:5).

 But the story doesn’t end there. Read on: (Parentheses added.)

21 For since death came through a man (Adam), the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man (Christ). 22 For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. (1 Corinthians 15:21-22)

If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45 So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being”[f]; the last Adam (Christ), a life-giving spirit. 46 The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. 47 The first man (Adam) was of the dust of the earth; the second man (Christ) is of heaven. 48 As was the earthly man (Adam), so are those who are of the earth; and as is the heavenly man (Christ), so also are those who are of heaven. 49 And just as we have borne the image of the earthly man (Adam), so shall we[g] bear the image of the heavenly man (Christ).

50 I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— 52 in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”[h]

55 “Where, O death, is your victory?     Where, O death, is your sting?”[i]

56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:44-57)

God can resurrect the body–perfectly, completely and supernaturally.

Mary Alice holds an unshakeable faith in Christ. She has told me multiple times that even though she misses Daryl greatly, she looks forward to being reunited with him someday. She will also be reunited with their child, who was stillborn.

One day God will supernaturally bring our human bodies together, breathe into us His Spirit, and empower us physically for eternal life. Because of the resurrection of Christ, the process of death will one day be reversed, and death will be swallowed up in victory.

Eternal life can be found in Christ alone. If you haven’t received Jesus as your Savior yet, please click on this link for a simple prayer of faith:  https://holdinghishand.org/receive-jesus/

The Bible says that Christ is preparing a place in Heaven for all who have received Him. (John 14:1-3) It will be a glorious place! A place where God will dwell with his people.

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:2-4)

In the Face of Death, God has a Plan

Personal Testimony Written by Katie Finn

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do” James 1:2-8.

Did you know that God always answers prayer? His timing is always perfect and He has a beautiful plan for each person He has ever created.

I was born blue in the face. One doctor tried to give me oxygen but it wasn’t helping me, and another doctor suggested that they check my blood sugar. My blood sugar was extremely low, in the single digits. They found out that the illness I had was rare and only a few children in history had been born with it. The child who survived the longest lived to age 14 and was unable to sit up, walk, talk, or feed them self. The doctors told my parents, in this condition, I would only live to age 21. Throughout my childhood I spent a lot of time in the hospital. My parents and churches from all over the world were praying for me and for the doctors to have wisdom. They prayed that the Lord would work through them.

Mike & Katie Celebrating their Anniversary
Mike & Katie Celebrating their Anniversary

At age 2 the doctors decided to remove half of my pancreas which had been producing too much insulin. I was healthy for about two and a half years and then I started to get very sick again. The doctors discovered that my pancreas had grown back and was producing more insulin than it had before, so at age 5 my pancreas was completely removed. I have been a diabetic ever since. Today I am nearly 30. God answered the prayers of so many people. I have had the experience of graduating high school, college, and am now married! These are three wonderful experiences that my parents didn’t know I would ever have.

God is so good! I thank Him for each day that He blesses me with. Each day is a beautiful gift from God. As I wake up each morning and begin to tear away the paper, I can’t wait to see what He will unfold before me as I open the box. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11.

I’ve had some very hard days which have strengthened my faith in God. I’ve come to realize I don’t have to go through these times alone because I have Jesus! I know that there will never come a day in my life that will present challenges that He can’t handle through me. My goal each day is to stay as close to God as I possibly can.

Through every surgery, hospital stay, and seizure, I’ve never had to face it alone. God is there. I believe that He always has a plan. All I must do is obey if He asks me to do something, and trust Him for the results. I’m so glad my life is in His hands. I know I would not be here today without Him!

No matter what challenges you may be facing, know that you don’t have to go through them alone. God loves you and if you will trust Him and believe that He has a plan, He will be with you through any challenge, any sickness, or any struggle you may ever have to face.

About Katie Finn:

Katie Finn
Katie Finn

I met Katie a year ago, when my husband and I accepted a call to pastor a church where Katie and Mike are members and serve God faithfully. After only a few conversations with Katie, I learned of her life-threatening illness and unshakeable faith in Christ. Her desire to please God in all areas of life is demonstrated by her humble and gentle spirit.

Unable to drive because of her illness and having other limitations with her vision, Katie doesn’t let this deter her from living a life of purpose and joy.

God has gifted Katie with many talents, including the ministry of music. She skillfully plays the piano and the flute, and sings beautifully unto the Lord. Katie also enjoys sewing, making many of her own clothes, and preparing healthy recipes.

Katie serves alongside of her husband, Mike, as Outreach Pastors at our church (St. Paul’s Church of the Nazarene, KC, MO). They both have a tremendous heart for reaching people with the Gospel of Christ. Mike is completing his bachelor’s in biblical studies degree at MidAmerica Nazarene University, as he and Katie prepare for full-time ministry.

One of my favorite quotes from Katie’s testimony: Each day is a beautiful gift from God. As I wake up each morning and begin to tear away the paper, I can’t wait to see what He will unfold before me as I open the box.

Holding His Hand:

Mike and Katie Celebrating Christmas with Katie's family
Mike and Katie Celebrating Christmas with Katie’s Family

When all seems dark and hopeless, Jesus is there. While talking with Katie’s dad, tears filled my eyes as he retold the frightening hours/years following Katie’s birth. He said the doctors gave little to no hope of survival for their precious little girl. Katie’s parents spent endless hours lifting their hearts to God. And while confessing their anguish and fearfulness, they came to an altar of total relinquishment and trust, by praying for God’s will to be accomplished through Katie’s fragile life. The physicians’ non-encouraging consultations continued throughout Katie’s young childhood, and yet, hope and peace came through an ever-present awareness of Christ’s nearness and faithfulness.

Recommended Reading: 1 Kings 17:7-24 – Elijah and the Widow at Zarephath

 

You can make your own choices, but you can’t choose your consequences.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

This is a true story of an unshakable faith in the midst of great sorrow, grief, and suffering.

After returning from a week’s vacation with my husband, Jeff, I wrote the following in my journal.

“I can’t even imagine the grief, sorrow, pain, and hurt they are going through, and yet, their faith in Christ is secure.”

SAM_1280Jeff and I had the opportunity to attend a pastors and wives retreat in Buchanan, Michigan, at a beautiful facility called The Lodge. We spent four nights and five days with three other pastoral couples and our host couple, Ed and Gayle, who facilitated our sharing sessions.

Prior to beginning our sessions, we sensed a spirit of love and grace within the lodge. We are thankful for our prayer team who were praying for us, along with others. I know now that these prayers were not only meant for us, but also for our host couple.

We quickly learned that Ed and Gayle lost their precious adult son six months prior, through a tragic death. I don’t feel led to share any details, for they seem inconsequential in relation to the deep loss this dear couple has experienced. I will say that I’ve never been with anyone who has demonstrated such grace and faith in the midst of severe suffering. I didn’t mention the second part to their faith journey. Ed learned he had a large cancerous tumor in his bladder just a few months following his son’s death.

Ironically, I heard the following statement twice during our vacation/retreat week, “You can make your own choices, but you can’t choose your consequences.” This was spoken first by our retreat host and the second time by my sister-in-law. Both were restating what they had originally spoken to their adult sons.

I think this statement grabbed me to my core, as I thought of how God allows us to freely make our own choices in life and how these choices will either result in pleasing God or the folly of our own flesh. When we choose to go our own way, apart from God’s direction and leading in our lives, we really are saying to God, “I know what’s best for my life and I really don’t need your guidance or authority to rule over me.” Sounds familiar doesn’t it…the first sin in the garden.

Fletcher 2My thoughts quickly race back to our retreat hosts. Although they feel that their son made some wrong choices toward the end of his life, they also know and testify to the unmerited favor of God in their lives. Throughout our week together, they shared how in the midst of heartache over the loss of their son, they are choosing to hold God’s hand as they continue to serve faithfully in the ministry God has called them to. Their unwavering faith and commitment to Christ brings hope, healing, and encouragement to pastors and wives through Life Action Ministries https://lifeaction.org/. For more information about The Lodge, please go to: http://www.retreatatthelodge.org/.

Holding His Hand

In the deepest despairs of life, God is near. His promises are true. If you are overtaken with grief and sorrow over the loss of a loved one, I encourage you to cry out to Jesus. The Psalmist declares: “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-18).

For those wrestling with decisions, please consider the words of the Apostle Paul.

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers” (Galatians 6:7-10).

Don’t Fret!

Me & Mom
Me & Mom

“Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them” (Psalm 17:10).

Don’t fret! Right, easier said than done. When facing a difficult situation, I tend to fret (worry or feel anxious). This is often my first reaction when fear sneaks in. Then as I recall God’s faithfulness, I gradually start to relax and peace comes.

Lying in my bed as a young child, I cried out in deep sorrow. I missed my mother, who passed away when I was seven. No one saw my tears in the dark of the night, I thought. That is until I mysteriously sensed a loving hand reach down and hold me close. This is the best way to describe my first realization of God. I continue to miss my mom, but I now recognize my Heavenly Father who faithfully comforts me with His loving presence.

Trusting the unseen hand of God “in the dark of the night” requires a steadfast faith in God’s goodness and an unquenchable desire for the Word of God.

Holding His Hand

“Suffering is unbearable if you aren’t certain that God is for you and with you.” – Timothy Keller’s book: Walking with God through Pain and Suffering.

I have found that journaling helps me recall God’s faithfulness in my life. Whenever I face a difficult situation, I’ll pick up one of my journals and read how God has been faithful over and over again throughout the years.